Independence in married life is the demand of all married couples. However, at times, parents do not allow young married couples to maintain their independence.

The fact of the matter is that at times the interferences of parents, and inexperience of young married couples in determination of boundaries, lead to differences of opinion among young married couples. Your spouse may consider your relations with your family as a type of dependence, or you may interpret the remarks of your spouse's parents as interference in your small family. The dependence of one or both spouses to their families, is troublesome.

The independence of married couples is one of the signs of social growth. Independent individuals clearly realize their strong points and drawbacks, which in turn assists them in making appropriate decisions. Meanwhile, maintenance of independence does not negate consultations with others. True and principled independence is materialized whenever the individual does not trample upon his goal just because of other people's remarks, and whenever the individual strives for fulfillment of his goal via consulting with others. There is a strong bond between success in life and independence. The independent individuals maintain further skills and self-confidence in dealing with life's problems and challenges. This is mainly due to further preparedness of independent individuals in fulfillment of their tasks.

In order to attain independence, some of your dependencies on your family such as financial and emotional dependencies should be dispelled. So, prior to establishment of an emotional relationship with another person, and prior to marriage, you have to make sure that you have turned into an independent individual, and that you can stand on your own feet.

In continuation of today's discussion, we speak about some of the characteristic features of Iranian families. One of the evident features of family in Iran is the importance of family within the entire social system. People of Iran grant significant importance to family, and the significance of family has been recognized as a value among the Iranian people. In a recent body of studies carried out across Iran for assessment of the importance of social organizations and institutions, family was granted much more importance in comparison to other social institutions.

The Iranian family is an important phenomenon and is religious and Islamic in nature.

The most important feature of family in the view of sacred religion of Islam is its purposefulness. In the divine standpoint of Islam, the goal behind marriage is not just fulfillment of one's sexual instincts. According to ayahs of Holy Quran, mankind is superior to all other creatures. God has granted dignity to mankind. Humans can contemplate and think. Mankind's wisdom has led to provision of especial Islamic rules and regulations for him. Hence, the goal of marriage in the divine religion of Islam goes much more beyond the fulfillment of sexual instincts.

Islam has called upon mankind not to be fully dependent on the material world and to consider the material world as a means for proximity to the one and only creator of the world, God Almighty. Therefore, a faithful and religious individual maintains a sacred goal in establishment of family. He/she wants to comply with the tradition of Prophet of Islam, Mohammad (Blessings of God upon him and his progeny), and to shape family as the main base for characteristic growth and development of social skills of children; so that those children would make the highest contribution to the health and elevation of human communities. Hence, the Iranian-Islamic family is founded with the marriage of vigilant and aware men and women, who have social capacities and potentials. In the meantime, this married couple shape the main pillar of the most vital social unit, which is the family.

The religious identity of Iranian family is evident right from the very beginning. Ali and his wife have been married for three years. Their first child has been born and they are extremely happy. They are from the South Khorasan Province. The couple's parents have come to their home. The naming ceremony of the newborn infant takes place in the 6^th night after the birth of the newborn infant in South Khorasan Province, with the name of the newborn chosen by the newborn's parents or grandparents from the text of Holy Quran. Ali and his wife have chosen a number of names, writing them on a few pieces of paper, which are placed between the pages of Holy Quran. They ask the senior member of the family to open the Holy Quran and choose the name which comes up, for the newborn infant.

Usually, in different parts of the city of Birjand, young couples choose the name of divine figures for their children. On the 7^th day after the birth of the newborn infant, there is a huge gathering in Ali's house, with everyone congratulating the birth of the newborn, and wishing the best for the infant.

Terms of relations among spouses is a skill which should be learned.

The consolidation and continuation of married life lies on establishment of mutual amity, understanding, and respect among married couples. The divine religion of Islam, in order to protect families has considered a number of rights and duties for spouses.

Based on the innate nature of mankind and human wisdom, kindness can lead to establishment and reinforcement of a close bond between married couples. If kindness and amity turns into a norm in the family, nothing would be able to shake such a blessed family.

MR/EA